During the past months, since I found out about his affair, I have been consistently asking my husband for two things.
1) He read a book and we discuss it.
2) That he write me a letter explaining how the affair made him feel about himself, how it made him feel about me, and how it made him feel about our relationship. I also wanted him to tell me the story of the affair from my point of view, basically an exercise in empathy. So I know he truly gets what his choices did to me and our family.
Yeah I know it sounds like a lot, but really it is only two things.
He still hasn’t read the book, even though I purchased it for him in March. He has however set a deadline to write the letter and give it to me. His deadline is tomorrow. Today he said “I will have it tomorrow or Sunday by the latest.” I had to tell him no. He was the one to set the deadline and he was going to have to stick to it.
He set the deadline over a month ago and I have been asking for the letter since February. He has had plenty of time to do it.
At one point in all the fall out from the affair I told him I had three deal breakers.
1) If he cheats again it is over.
2) If he lies to me again it is over.
3) If he talks shit about me again it is over.
I’m thinking I might have to add a forth. I’m just afraid he isn’t going to follow through.
Sometimes I think we can make it and sometimes I think I should have kicked him out on his ass when I found out.
I’m not sure what I will do if he doesn’t have that letter tomorrow, but I’m afraid it won’t be good. After all the hurt and betrayal I don’t think I can handle the disappointment.